All About Loyalty

To what do we owe really our loyalty? To what extent should we be loyal? Are we loyal because we receive something or are we loyal because we desire to give?

Growing up, I was taught with the value of loyalty. My parents taught me how being loyal makes an important part of who I am as a person. I was taught of being loyal as an important element of one's character. And when it comes to work, my father would always give me an example of a soldier who will not leave a wounded comrade behind and dodges withering fire to bring the man to safety. For that is what loyalty is all about. 

I thought loyalty then was all that simple. For me, to be loyal with friends and have friends who are loyal to me in return was the purest accomplishment I can ever stride for. I have only a few friends who I would do everything because we have been through so many rough times. Loyalty is more than that. Now, I am at a different point in my life where I have a deeper understanding of what loyalty is all about. So let me share to you some thoughts.

Loyalty is one virtue that others find difficult to achieve and I cannot blame them. It greatly needs an investment in time and feeling. Even heartaches of betrayal may be experienced anytime. It requires mutual trust and commitment. Thus, I find it difficult sometimes to be loyal to someone or something if I think they will not do as well to me.

I say that loyalty demands maturity and old age does not mean one knows loyalty. I have met a lot of people in their 40s and 50s who until now  have a difficult time defining loyalty. Loyalty demands that we commit ourselves to a group or a cause. In my training to be loyal, it means commitment to a cause greater than myself.  

In a workplace, I believe that loyalty should be a way of life. But sometimes the dilemma is this: If we are absolutely loyal to a man but yet we see him make a small lie, does this mean we can no longer trust him? Or do we remain loyal and cover up as we know his strength of character and we are confident that he will be a great man someday? Where does loyalty end?

Josiah Royce, author of the 1920 book, The Philosophy of Loyalty, said loyalty is  the willing and practical and thoroughgoing devotion of a person to a cause. Loyalty is a choice and cannot be forced upon by any person or organization. It involves emotion but action must always constitute the core of it.

We often imagine loyalty as a bond between ourselves and individuals or organizations. 

Thus, when that individual entity changes and stops interesting us, we feel justified in breaking off our loyalty to them. Loyalty must always be rooted  on principles, not on people. So that when people change or organizations shift, our loyalty anchored on immovable values, will remain steadfast.

I always find it necessary to always search for individuals who can exhibit characteristics I, myself, find attractive and worthy of respect. Life and the world have a way of changing people with great idealism. Thus, it is necessary to be with people who will always bring out the best of us and not self-destruction. If we have a good friend who is not acting with highest level of integrity and the issues are something that can be corrected, speak to him. If they decide not to change, then it becomes an issue of loyalty.

One cannot demand loyalty from the other. It is based on free will and need not even be dictated by one's position. On one hand,  I believe  that loyalty should be based on a cause or purpose. Take for instance, I strive to stay loyal until all the work I can do for my cause is finished and remembering always that I chose this cause. I knew the risks in pledging such loyalty and willingly accepted the risks.  I always ensure myself in choosing to be loyal to causes which mirror my will and core values. Thus, if two people cannot share the same principles or  can no longer reciprocate each other's commitments and obligations, then it becomes a lopsided loyalty, which others think justify disloyalty. Of course, I do not agree with the latter.

Are we justified in becoming disloyal? If the loyalty is not given back, it doesn’t mean I will be disloyal in return or forget all positive relationships created. It just means I was wrong about people's' loyalty towards me and maybe I should reevaluate everything whether they are still worthy of my commitment, emotions and time before I agree to do something for them. When we are 100% loyal to the person, we perform because we believe him, grounded on common cause or purpose. But if it no longer supports the very foundation of such loyalty, then it creates loopholes which would make us think twice before we leap on to something. Is there even such a thing as diminished loyalty?

Some people may earn our loyalty or not or even lose it. In the same manner, some of them become disloyal to us and even disregard the cause we altogether built.  But so long as our cause is anchored on immovable values, rest assured that we will meet people with the same principles who are filled with confidence, aim and direction along the way. People like them are our people. The ones who we will know as to what they really are, what we can expect from them, and most importantly, where they stand.

The bottom line is: we need to stick on our cause and core values, never demand loyalty and let our actions earn it. Be not afraid to speak what's good and you will never go wrong. After all, we are loyal to our cause and not to people.